Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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