all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
