Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
