Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You need a sexual gate keeper
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
