a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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