I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize