i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
