I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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