I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
