I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize