I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
