Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
