What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
