So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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