the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
