@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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