ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Everclear isn't food dammit
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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