You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
