My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
