kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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