I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just google imaged poop.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
