i just google imaged poop.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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