I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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