the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
