i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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