Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
