Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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