After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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