"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
