This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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