Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
