I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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