Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
