I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
