My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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