You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
