Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.