it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
