i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
