Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize