No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
