there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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