im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
