Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
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You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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