totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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