I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
