Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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