I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
