I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
