Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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