We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
