He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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