I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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