how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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