Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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