are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
