bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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