The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
