Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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