The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Randomize