Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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