Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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