I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
