Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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