imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
