The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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