question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
